Your honkypino lover

Ho Ho Kiss My Ass

2008-11-08T09:53:00.000-08:00

This is one of those posts that I start one day and finish on another. For the record, I started this yesterday, 11/8/08 and I'm finishing it on 11/9/08. Excuse the lack of continuity.

Just kidding. What's up? It's Saturday and for the first time since I transferred stores, I'm actually at work...on a Saturday, that is. It kind of sucks, but it's interesting at the same time. Well, when I say interesting, I mean slow as hell with waaay too many of us working. I came in at 10:00 and since 10:15, I've been working with the same customer trying to get his aircard to connect with his laptop. I've run every diagnostic I'm aware of, so now I'm on hold for technical support while another rep does everything I've already done in an attempt to: a) show me up; b) prove they're better than me; c) impress me with their technical saavy. I say, "knock yourself out."

Yesterday was productive. I was off, so I took full advantage of the sitch. I did have to be up at 8:00 for a conference call, but I fell back to sleep around 9:00 after getting a batch of laundry going. I was able to sleep until around 10:30, switch loads, fold and put away my whites, then I crawled back on to the couch with the cat. Around noon, I repeated the process with my darks, but this time instead of hitting the couch, I plowed through the toxic dump that is my room and started cleaning.

I was able to get all of my IPBL BTQ, IPBL BT and GM shit sorted, packed and put away for at least a month...HUGE hurdle. Thank Cher that's done. I did a bit of rearranging, but didn't care for it, so I put it all back. I ran the sweeper, swiffered, and febreezed. There's still more to do. I just didn't have the strunth.

Tonight I'm going home and just hanging out. I'd like to go to bed early. I'm doing my best to get in the habit of sleeping at least 6 hours a night in an effort to be better rested and prepared for work. It seems to be working so far. I'll be working from noon - 5 tomorrow then I need to head home and get started on Spanish language safer sex kits for STEP-Up. I'm off Monday & Tuesday, but I've volunteered to do a floorset at EB from 9:00 p.m. Monday - 6:00 a.m. Tuesday...glutton for punishment I am.

Gonna wrap this up for now with a weight loss report...I started back on the Abs Diet on 10/27/08. If you'll remember I was at 201 on the 27th. As of this morning, I'm down to 195. Six pounds in two weeks ain't bad. Just gotta keep it up. I ain't a piece of pizza yesterday and several leftover Halloween miniatures...I needed one of those days.

Anyhoo...it's almost noon and people are already lining up outside so gonna close. Later!

Those three little words...

2008-11-06T10:10:00.000-08:00

So I met someone recently. We've had dinner a couple of times and met for coffee. I didn't think things were progressing and there certainly was no need to report anything to anyone. It was simply a situation where I took the stance of, "see what happens."

He's smart, attractive, close to my age and a good kisser. While spending time together we'd never go for more than a minute of silence. We've read the same books, been to some of the same places and enjoy the same types of movies. We share similarities in beliefs and values and just seem to click.

We made plans to see each other Monday night, so after work I drove to his place. He led me to the solarium. We started off with chit chat which developed into making out. I heard some rustling in the other room which I assumed was the golden lab I'd passed earlier. The rustling took on another meaning when I heard, "Honey, I'm home!"

Seems he left something out about himself. He frantically shouted out, "be right there," mouthed the words, "my wife," and pointed to the door leading to the backyard. I was livid and as slowly as possible put on my shoes and let me self out the backdoor.

It took everything in me to not slam the backdoor and key his car on my way down the drive. Why did he lie? I would have slept with him anyway.

Sheesh.

"...you make my slacks a little tight

2008-11-03T07:01:00.000-08:00

you may unfasten them if you like..." Jason Mraz, you dirty, dirty little boy! You make me wanna have str8 sex again. *If you haven't heard it, you MUST check out Butterfly by Jason. It's pretty damned zexy*

This weekend was exactly as I'd planned it...low-key and relaxing. Well except for Grande Masquerade and all the prep and work that went into it.

Saturday night, FitnessNerd, Summer, Maestro and I all participated in the 2008 Grande Masquerade: Illusions of Moulin Rouge, a benefit for the Damien Centre. It was a fun evening and a tremendous event. It was the first time in years that the Indy Pride Bag Ladies had participated in the event as performers and their return was trumpeted by the boisterous yet composed Sequoia Pentecost as Mistress of Ceremonies.

Summer Clearance, Holly Luyah, Veronica Storme, Dixie Lix (in what she says is her final performance) and Queen Blossom all kicked the night off with their can-can while Aurora Diamonds, Adessah Reed, Halle Pino and newly crowned Bag Lady Bus Tour Queen, Donna Rhea all performed "Lady Marmalade," from Moulin Rouge.

Other performers included the Peru Circus (NOT the Peruvian Kids Circus as they were referred to all night...they're from Peru, IN not the country of), Dance Kaleidescope and FLAVA. I didn't have the opportunity to see many of the performances, but I'm told they were all enjoyable.

I spent Sunday doing laundry and trying to make some sense of the maze that is my bedroom. Being busy has taken it's toll on my housekeeping and I'm embarrassed by the heap. At least I have some clean clothes, but the clutter is driving me nuts!

Lately I've found I don't want to be very social. For the past couple of weeks I've been avoiding unnecessary conversation and interaction with certain individuals with no real reason. I think I'm feeling somewhat like a beat puppy due to past events combined with feelings of resentment and a minute loss of respect for said individuals. I really need to let it go because I'm telling everyone that I'm fine but it would appear I'm really not. I've scheduled an appointment with a healing/energy arts massage therapist on Friday so I'm hoping this serves as catharsis and detoxification. Cher knows I could use the pampering and I look forward to the cleansing process coupled with energy work.

For whatever reason, I'm also dealing with feelings of anxiety. I think part of it has to do with my new position and the transfer to a new store. It's going well, it's just weird to realize that I'm now solely responsible for the money I make or don't make as opposed to relying on my co-workers to make the sale.

Along with the anxiety, I'm just feeling a bit blah right now. I'm not sure if it's the pending holidays, the new decade I'm approaching, my weight battle or a little bit of everything. I'm sure I'll snap out of it at some point. Something else I need to do is get in for a physical and get to the optometrist. Following Friday night's pampering session, I'm getting my hair cut on Tuesday. Hopefully I'll emerge with a new attitude.

Here's to holding out hope.

Our name is our virtue...

2008-10-28T06:27:00.001-07:00

truer (more true?) words have never been penned. I've been thinking a lot lately about character and integrity.

Earlier this month someone accused me of not showing character. Even though the circumstances had little to nothing (okay...absoLUTEly nothing) to do with me and I could seriously give a shit about what the accuser thinks of me, it still gave me a moment's pause.

Over the past few months I've really put my name, my face and my reputation on the line by being more involved in the community. With this increased involvement comes increased scrutiny. As I've mentioned before, I'm quite content with where I am socially. I'm involved, but still consider myself on the periphery with no intentions of scaling to the upper echelon. In fact, after this past week's events, I had an extreme moment of clarity. I know what I need to do to make myself happy while still maintaining my current level of involvement. I've realized with the help of some pretty damned smart folk that I have the respect and support of many, many people in this city and saying this with as much humility as possible, they'll turn out if I decide to host a fundraiser or participate in a show. That's amazing to me.

I'm standing in a place where I have the ability (and responsibility) to make a difference in this community. I don't need praise, accolades or baubles to affirm that I'm on track: friends and strangers alike have thanked me for what I do and have encouraged me to continue; that, my friends, is more than enough incentive to keep going.

Things are going quite well at my new location. I enjoy the new people I'm working with and they've extended a warm welcome to the team. It's a relatively young store and at 39+, I'm on the high end of the age scale. I've been bringing in my EW every week and leaving it on the table for mass consumption. The mag has provided topics of conversation in the break room and talk of future movie outings. Some of my co-workers seem impressed by the fact that I read during my lunch. Maestro and I stopped by Borders Sunday evening and I picked up "Barrel Fever" by David Sedaris. I can't say it's holding my attention like his other books have. I'm finding it hard to grasp the character essays. I much rather prefer reading about his family and his ongoing battle with neuroses and OCD. After a conversation with one of my co-workers, I brought in my ratted, tatted and torn copy of "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim," for his consumption. I'm curious to see what he has to say about it.

Last night was the 8th Annual Skaree-oke Contest at Metro. RoqStar, Summer, Maestro and I judged. No offense to RockStar Promotions, but DAMN did the competition suck this year! After our judging duties, we all agreed that we had basically given away the contest prizes based solely on who sucked the least. There was little imagination or effort that went into any of the performances and nothing that just reached out and grabbed us. Congratulations, however to Awizabeph, the little 3 year old who graced us with her stirring rendition of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." Invest your $200 wisely, baby-cakes.

All in all life is pretty grand right now. Nothing spectacular going on. I'm ready to be done with the October events and thankfully, only have one more in which to participate. Summer and I have agreed to do dinner Sunday night to celebrate a month with nothing to do (November 2 - December 14) involving dresses. Halle's a great gal, but she's way too busy for my liking as of late.

I started back on the Abs Diet on Monday. I know I've been driving the roomie nuts because I've been doing so much late-night cooking. Sunday night I was in the kitchen cooking chicken curry with brown rice. Monday night I made up a pot of "Yo! Soup for You," and tonight I'll be making chili con turkey. I've done a good job of getting up and having breakfast, getting meals together the night before and limiting my intake of soft drinks. I'd gotten to the point where I was drinking regular soft drinks instead of diet (DAMN YOU AND YOUR SUGARY REFRESHMENT, PEPSI!!) so I've cut those out.

When I weighed in a week or so ago, I was at 201. 2 0 fucking 1!! I'm going to strive for 170, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I'll be doing more posts going forward, so I'll be sure to keep you apprised.

Well, that should just about catch us up. Let's chat again soon.

Tee hee...

2008-09-06T13:57:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Maestro!!

So I have a cold.

2008-09-01T08:20:00.000-07:00

I had that "raw" feeling in the back of my throat Friday night and a little bit of drainage, but I sallied forth and made it throw the evening's events.

By Saturday morning, I was a full-blown snarfly mess. I'm not a whiner when I'm sick like most men; I just sound like one because of congestion. I started running a low-grade fever by Saturday afternoon and I left work early. I made myself a variation on a hot toddy with 3 parts Bacardi Razz and one part Snapple raspberry tea and slipped into a coma after a stint in the hot tub. I slept until 11:30 when FitnessNerd texted me to see if I was breathing...heavily and through my mouth, but I was breathing. I laid around for another hour or so before I decided I needed to get out of the house. Had I just stayed in bed all day, I would have just been miserable, so I showered, dressed and headed to the Trump's for a day of sun.

By the time I arrived everyone had been informed that I was ill so I was treated to the "awwwws..." and everyone just wanted to pamper me. It was sweet.

We hung out by the pool through the afternoon when we got the proverbial wild hair and headed over to Greg's...the boys had tickets for the cash drawing so they wanted to see if they were winners. After all, Blanche won the Memorial Day drawing. No such luck this time. After the drawing, we left for Talbott Street for the super show and continued drinking. I should have called a cab or crashed on FN's couch but instead drove home and apparently hit Hardee's along the way. Given that I've last 2 pounds in the past week, I've been trying to watch what I eat. That must have been in the back of my mind, because I only took two bites of the mushroom Swiss before I put it back into it's little box and didn't eat ANY of the extremely fat-laden loaded fries. I'm so proud. :-)

I actually woke up before my alarm went off this morning which is a very good thing because I didn't set it before I went to bed. Okay, that makes no sense, but I'm leaving it so you can see my state of mind. Our store is open from 10-4 today and I just looked at the clock to see that it's only 11:36. FUCK, it's going to be a long short day. I think there's a cookout at the Trump's today, but I don't know if I'm going. I brought clothes just in case.

VH1 is running 80 Hours of the 80s this wekend...it's better than the Jerry Lewis Telethon but without the good cause. They're doing a back-to-back Tina Turner right now with "Better Be Good to Me" and "Private Dancer" and her HA-YUGE comback song, "What's Love Got to Do With It?" Looking back, I really had no idea what a tremendous comback story she was, but I have nothing but respect for the queen now, that's for shiz. I'm craving pizza, but KFC mashed potatoes and gravy are sounding might fine right about now. Guess I'm craving comfort foods. Hmmm...should I go to Golden Corral?

Terribly exciting post, I know.

Taking out the trash...

2008-08-29T15:09:00.000-07:00

So, I thought I was doing a pretty good job of being friendly with people even though I no longer associate with them on a regular basis. I strongly believe that you can't, under any circumstance, completely sever relationships. I think it's important to remain cordial to everyone regardless of how hateful/catty/bitchy/spiteful/douchey they become or whether or not you still have the same interests/values/ideals/goals.

That said, I've determined that there is a group of people with whom I can honestly no longer relate or associate to any degree. It's truly unfortunate because we've all been through a lot together. Recently, they've made it crystal clear that they really don't want anything to do with me. Last night I was out dropping some palm cards for Halle's fishfry when I stopped to speak with said group. I said hi, handed them some palm cards and said I'd like to see them there. One of them scoffed at the price; I said, "it is a fundraiser and it's all you can eat," he replied, "well they're gonna lose money, then." Then, as I turned to wander and socialize, I saw him crumple up the palm card and drop it into an empty beer bottle.

You know what? FUCK YOU!! You've grown increasingly unhappy with your own life and now it's all about bitching, complaining and degrading everyone else. I'm glad to see you're healthy and doing well, but grow up...seriously.

It's not just bloat...

2008-08-26T10:55:00.000-07:00

I've become a fat ass again. I weighed in this morning and I've crept back up to 200 lbs.

200. I weigh about the same as two Mary Kate Olsens...probably more than, truth be told. I remember a time not too terribly long ago that I stepped on the scale and it said 167. Well, I guess that was actually in 2006. But still, 33 lbs in 2 years? 16.5 lbs a year? 1.375 lbs a month? 0.04 oz per day. That really doesn't sound like a lot when you break it down...0.04 oz per day. But look what it added up to over time.

Maestro has proposed another Biggest Loser. Given my showing in the last "competition," I'm hesitant to get on board, but I definitely need to do SOMEthing. I think the mental image I have of my physical appearance is one of the reasons I'm not too terribly keen on dating or even trying to date. No one wants to date a fat ass and I don't want anyone to date one if that one is attached to me.

So given the amount of activities I have in the next two months, I'm hoping to trim the fat. When we were in Chi for NH Market Days, Bauer drunkenly told me that he has a theory behind my weight gain...I'm making too much money. He has a point. When I was working at Bauer, I didn't have a car so I was taking the bus everywhere which means that I was doing a LOT of walking. Also, when I was making less money (at EB, by the way {ha ha}), I was eating a LOT less. It was more important to have drinking money than eating money. I kind of miss those ketchup & mustard sandwiches every now and then, though. At the Circle Centre food court, you can always find condiment packs laying around. Don't laugh...sweet & sour sauce makes a pretty good soup.

Regardless, I know that I'm going to be quite visible for the next couple of months and I don't want a (literal) ton of back fat hanging out of my outfits and I'd rather not be purused by chub chasers. I'm going to take it slow this time, though. Marathon, not sprint...no crystal meth this time.

Just kidding...that was for the haterz.

Later, dudes.

A Night On the Bayou

2008-08-25T15:00:00.001-07:00

I'm posting this as a favor to Halle. If you have an opportunity, be sure to buy your tickets and head to the fish fry. It's a fundraiser for a great cause!

A Cajun themed fish fry fundraiser to promote continued dialogue
for Indy’s GLBT Community Center

September 20, 2008
5:30 – 9:30 p.m.
3544 Central Avenue
Indianapolis, IN 46205

The evening’s menu features: fried catfish & chicken strips, hushpuppies, jambalaya, red beans & rice, cole slaw and Murphy’s Balls for dessert.
Tickets are $15 for dinner & the show. Cash bar with $2.00 beer & cocktails.

Performances by: Halle Pino, Cadillac Barbie, Summer Clearance, Stella Couture, Aurora Diamond, Holly Luyah, Portia Lynn Van Buren & Rachael Yoder
Special guest fortune teller ~ palm/tarot reader…”getcher fortune telled!”

To RSVP, please email Halle Pino: HallePino@yahoo.com
Or call Calvin Knight @ 317.260.6740.

See y’all on the bayou!!

Such a pretteh kitteh

2008-08-25T13:15:00.000-07:00

I followed the lead of my roommate's cat last night and poured myself into bed at 11:15...I slept until 8:45 this morning. Well needed rest after another packed week/end.

The week itself was pretty low-key. Oh, wait. No it wasn't. I've already recapped Tuesday night. Wednesday night, I actually forced myself to stay home even though I DESperately wanted to go to karaoke. Im glad that I didn't go. Thursday morning I got up relatively early to get ready for work then headed in. I was really in no mood to be there based on a discovery made in the shower. Perhaps I'll get in to that later but for now I'll just say that I left early, headed to the doc's office for a few tests then went home to rest up before the Pride Membership Mixer.

At the Mixer, I FINALLY paid my membership dues. I should have my official card in a few weeks. What I found amusing is when one of the board members walked up to me and asked if I wanted to be nominated for a position. You have to be a member in good standing for at least a year before you can be considered for a board seat. I JUST signed up for my membership. Guess I have one of those faces that looks like it's been around forever.

During announcements, Cadillac Barbie/The Wonderful Wiz was asked for a Bag Ladies report. He mentioned calendar sales and the upcoming bus tour then lobbed it my way to talk about Halle Pino's upcoming fish fry. I was able to talk about it without stumbling too much. I think if you're going to put yourself out there as someone to consider for a future position in the public eye, you need to be prepared to speak at a moment's notice. Blanche said I recovered well and I don't think I was overtly startled by the lob. I only stumbled once and I think it was something that only I noticed.

At the Mixer, I did see someone who caught my eye. There was something familiar about him but even today I still don't think I'd met him before. I saw him throughout the evening (even after we adjourned to the Metro) and we kept glancing at each other. I didn't say anything to him and just proceeded to finish out the night. After I left the Metro I felt like I'd had another missed opportunity, but I was okay with that. I'm still not in a place where I feel like dating (at least I don't think I am). I kinda of wanted to go to Greg's with FN and Sequoia, but I was really tired, too...my weariness won out and I headed home to crawl into bed.

Friday morning I ran up to corporate to pick up a phone for a friend, ran a couple of errands then went home to clean up my room for the roomie's mojito party. The party was fun. Back in January when he and his boyfriend had their First Friday Marti Party, I hardly knew anyone so I was still in my shy-mode. This time, however, I was pretty familiar with everyone there and a little more at ease in my own home. I didn't realize how strong the mojitos were until I got to Greg's. I ran into a few people I hadn't seen for awhile...made out with someone I normally wouldn't and realized I was making an ass of myself. I told FN I was ready to go before things got any worse so we headed back to his place to crash.

I made it to work on time Saturday and, on cruise control, made it through the day. Headed home immediately after work and crawled into bed to get ready for the floorset reset Sunday morning at EB. Hey, Bauer...I'm gonna start screening my calls. You know I can't say "no," to you.

The floorset was actually kinda fun even though I don't feel I contributed all that much to it. It took me forever to rebuild the first wall I was assigned and I couldn't remember how to fold. 6 hours later, I was walking out the door mostly dead but ready to change and head to the Trump's for another Sunday afternoon pool day. The roomie and bf and their friends were providing lunch and I was hungry so I went to meet Blanche.

It was a laidback day as half of the crowd are in LV until next week. It was nice and quiet and I enjoyed that as I wasn't really in much of a mood to socialize. I did get to spend some time talking with Dot.Com. Dot is a Bag Lady who hasn't performed in a Bag Lady show for years. Over the past couple of months, he's become one of my favorite people in the world. He's just so real and we can sit and talk about a lot of stuff. He and his boyfriend are sweeties.

As I was talking with Dot, I saw out of the corner of my eye the aforementioned mystery man from Thursday night. We made eye contact a few times as he wandered around saying hi to people. Eventually, he came over and sat down next to me, introduced himself and chatted with me for a bit. We really didn't say anything deep or meaningful, just chit chat about where he was from, what he was doing in Indy, etc. Dinner arrived and a hush fell over the crowd as 40 or so gay men were suddenly face down in plates full of fried chicken, potato salad, cole slaw and corn.

We finished eating and hung around for awhile before Blanche and I decided to meet Jack, Ennis, Woody & Caesar over at Olly's. As I was leaving, the mystery man came up and asked where I was going. He asked me for contact info so I gave him my card. What started out as a potential missed connection on Friday's Craig's List had turned into a "here's my number, give me a call." Let's see what happens. Yes, long, drawn out boring end to a boring week. I'll try to do better next time.

Death by Caucasian

2008-08-20T10:44:00.000-07:00

Seriously...you people are wearing me out!!

I know I should just learn how to say "no," but tasty adult beverages with fun people just proves too darned tempting for me to pass up.

After work yesterday, I ran by the house to change clothes, say hi/bye to the roomie and the cat, then headed to Olly's for some dinner. Yes, I ate beFORE I started drinking last night. *and homos around the world rejoiced!*

After I finished my grilled chicken Caesar at Olly's, I headed over to meet the MGs at Metro. When I arrived, Blanche was already there talking with the Prez and a couple of other (to-be-named-at-a-later-date-when-I-feel-more-creative) board members/supporters. Of course, they had to give me a hard time about my drunken state Sunday at the pool. What I confirmed through conversations with people during the evening is that MGs at the pool were a little more mortified by my drunkenness than anyone else. Most people found it humourous that I was that intoxicated because they'd yet to see me like that...much like putting on a dress and boarding a bus, my sloppiness served to build a bridge, inching me closer to our new found friends and compatriots.

The evening was going along swimmingly when in walked a young man from my past. Seeing him caught me off guard because I hadn't seen him in 7 years. The last time I saw him, he was 19 which means I was 32...and we knew each other. It wasn't terribly uncomfortable, I just found it amusing to find that he had been talking to/with someone else in the group and he pretty much made it clear that we had been "friends." We exchanged numbers so hopefully we'll find some time to catch up.

The MGs hung around Metro for awhile, taking part in karaoke and selling some of the Bag Ladies Calendars before FitnessNerd and I made arrangements to go to Greg's to meet up with Sequoia.

We made it to Greg's and ran into Holly Luyah and Audrey Heartburn and pretty much just sat around drinking and dishing. I talked with Sequoia for a bit longer after FN left, then headed home myself to be home by 2:ish. I fell into bed and woke up around 9:30 when I received an email reminder of a conference call I needed to be on. *blah*

The day's been productive and I finally sobered up around 2:30.

I'm feeling the urge to go out for karaoke tonight, but I also know that the Pride Membership Mixer is tomorrow night and I'm pretty sure that will be a drunk night and then there's the mojito party hosted by the roomies on Friday...Lord...my poor liver.

Drunk and disorderly...

2008-08-18T09:48:00.000-07:00

Good god, people. Will I never learn?

Went to the Trump's yesterday for a nice, relaxing day at the pool. I had every intention of just having a couple of cocktails and socializing. I'm not sure how, but somewhere along the line I got pretty sloppy drunk...so much so that The Wonderful Wizard himself was concerned about me being too drunk to drive home.

Oh, well. I somehow stumbled to my car and made it home; woke up on the floor in front of the tv at 3:30 this morning with a large glass of water and a bottle of excedrin next to me...at least I planned ahead.

I really meant for yesterday's pool trip to be a productive one. I meant to talk with the key players about Halle's fish fry. If I did wind up talking with them, I'm sure I was too belligerent for them to understand a thing I was saying. I don't know if I ever wound up eating yesterday, but for some reason, a hot dog comes to mind. When I woke up again at 7:30 this morning, I did force myself to eat some egg beaters & turkey bacon lest it be a really, really ugly day.

There is a Pride membership mixer this Thursday, so I'll need to go not only to sign up for my membership (elections are next month and I need to be a voting member), but for damage assessment. I don't think I made too big an ass of myself, but there are some blank spots in the evening that require some reconciliation. I'm sure FitnessNerd & Blanche will happily provide any details.

One thing I do feel bad about is not making it to Bloomington to see Stella Couture & Holly Luyah perform. God, I hate having to apologize "the day after."

Aaaaand I'm back!!

2008-08-07T07:04:00.000-07:00

So two months is long enough.

I had decided to not post my rants and raves any longer for fear of offending people. Even worse, I took down my entire blog for fear of possible repercussion. I wasn't sure what the repercussions or ramifications might be, but I was worried about them.

Well, forget all that. This is MY blog, god damn it! These are MY thoughts and my feelings.